A lady in our church sent these to me. They are too good to keep to myself…
- You’ve had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
- You call four inches of snow “a dusting.”
- You don’t understand why there aren’t fried clam shacks elsewhere in the country.
- You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
- You knew all the flavors at Perry’s Nut House.
- Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
- You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
- You’ve hung out at a gravel pit.
- You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
- You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
- Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
- You’ve almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
- You know how to pronounce Calais.
- You’ve gone to a Grange bean supper.
- In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.
- At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
- At least once in your life you’ve said, “It smells like the mill in here.”
- There’s a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
- You crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly.
Your house converts to a B&B every July and August for people from away that you happen to know.- All year long you’re tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
- You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
- You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry’s.
- You’ve ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
- You know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.
- You know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
- You go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
- You’ve watched “Murder she Wrote” and snickered at the stupid fake accents.
- You know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.
- You take the New Hampshire toll personally.
- You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
- When you’re supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
There’s too much “stuff” in your 2 “cah” garage to get either of your cars into it.- You know what a frappe is.
- L.L. Bean’s not just a store, it’s a way of life.
- “The City” means exclusively Portland.
- You’ve made a meal out of a Jordan’s red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda.
- “Salt damage” is a viable insurance claim.
- All of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o’clock at night.
- It’s not a storm - it’s a Nor’eastah.
- “Open 24/7″ might as well be Greek.
- More stores have “Bienvenue” flags than “Welcome” flags.
- You eat ice cream with flavors like ‘Moose Tracks” and “Maine Black Bear”.
- You know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolate frosting.
- You wouldn’t eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!
- A
s a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool. - The area around your back door is referred to as “the dooryard”.
- You eat potato chips with flavors such as “clam dip”, “ketchup” and “dill pickle”.
- You call the basement “downcellah.”
- There is only one shopping plaza in town.
- You use “wicked” as a multipurpose part of speech.
- Your pickup has more mud on it then the ground around it for a 15 foot radius.
- More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose.
- You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
- If your “luxury vehicle” is a twelve-year-old rustbucket on wheels.
- If your dog eats better than you do, and more often too.
- If you never say what you paid for an item but how much you “give” for it.
- You know that “stove up” has nothing to do with cooking.
- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maine.
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My Google Books Library- currentchristian.com
- Masking The Horror of Jonah
- Univ of Illinois-Chicago Offering Course on “A Biblical Approach to Mental Health”
- Martin Marty- “Truth to say, I could sign this Manifesto with fingers only very rarely and loosely crossed. “
- “What’s So Odd About Religious Colleges?”
- Mohler: “I must judge ‘An Evangelical Manifesto’ to be too expansive in terms of public relations and too thin in terms of theology.”
- Mosque Attenders to outnumber Church Attenders in Britain in a generation
- “Once all the self-description is out of the way, it turns out that the heart of the document is a kind of urgent appeal: Please don’t call us fundamentalists or confuse us with them.”
- Paige Patterson on Latest SBC Statistics
- Wheaton Professor: “God won’t fire anyone because of their marital status, politics, theology or sexual preference”
- The Evangelical Manifesto
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18 January 2007 at 12:21 pm
Yessuh!
18 January 2007 at 12:46 pm
How about claiming on your IRS form: Profession - Diggin’ worms or tippin’?
18 January 2007 at 1:43 pm
How about these?
- You choose your friends based on their weatherman preference.
- You think of meteorologist Steve Mckay as a celebrity.
- When relatives visit you are more concerned about what route they took than you are about actually seeing them.
- You have been through at least 2 church splits in your life.
- You have personally memorized the location of all the potholes on the way to work.
- You actually get Tim Sample.
- When you’re away you really do think that Maine is the Promised Land.
- You take pride in being called a ‘mainiac’.
18 January 2007 at 2:19 pm
Nice.
18 January 2007 at 4:16 pm
Excellent additions, Russ!
18 January 2007 at 4:32 pm
I’m obviously not from Maine.
19 January 2007 at 9:30 am
Those are good. I must admit I was startled by the phrase when someone told me, “That was a wicked good sermon!”
19 January 2007 at 12:47 pm
How about;
You keep 90 fathom of warp in the trunk just in case you have to lurch out a moose.
You tell the trooper that your pickup listed to starboard then back to port before it capsized in the middle of Rt. 1.
When the warden asks what are you hunting with the scoped 30-06 after you have already tagged your deer, you reply, “RABBITS”
19 January 2007 at 4:45 pm
Could you translate some of this for us Sutherners?
20 January 2007 at 10:04 am
Sorry, Lyn- those of you “From Away” just wouldn’t understand… “You can’t get there from here.”
20 January 2007 at 5:35 pm
I don’t claim to be from ME, but after living for only 2 years up there, I’m surprised I actually understand most of those. Love the Moxie pic too, although, I’ll have to admit, I haven’t searched it out or really missed it since we moved, but the Dill chips…..ah, those, I miss! I don’t miss being called a “flatlandah” either. And we still look at who’s in the car when we pass a ME license plate!
31 January 2007 at 2:02 pm
I’ve been away for 7 yrs now, but still visit. There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!
2 February 2007 at 5:47 pm
Wow, sorry I’m late to this “pahti”, but I have to let you know, I have a friend who lives in Camden, ME. I get an updated e-mail from him about his hikes he takes every week. He’s writing a book about them.
While he was attending Ohio State, he would go “home” to visit on major holidays. When he returned, he always had a case of “Moxie”.
‘Nuff said! That stuff tastes like cough medicine! YUK! He sucks it down, while eating a bag of “Cape Cod - Sea Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips”!
3 February 2007 at 10:02 pm
Ayuh.
28 February 2007 at 7:40 pm
The road to your house is better in winter because all of the potholes have been filled in with ice.
28 February 2007 at 7:43 pm
The driveway is how you get to your dooryard, where you pahk ya cah.
23 March 2007 at 9:22 am
See some people like to pretend to be a true Mainer when they live in the big city ( Portland). But I was born and raised in Presque Isle, Me. Thats real Maine. Where if they don’t have it at Walmart then you would learn to live without it in high school they let school out for a few weeks so the kids can go pick potatoes on there daddies farms and there was absolutly no reason to be outside after 6pm cuz there was not a single thing open. I moved to Massachusetts 2 years ago and I miss muh home town wicked bad.
Especially True for Northern Mainers:
You’ve almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
More stores have “Bienvenue” flags than “Welcome” flags.
You’ve hung out at a gravel pit.
27 March 2007 at 3:08 pm
Firends of mine from Alabama were taveling to New Brunswick and hauling down the airline at 60 or so when he spotted a sign that said “Bump” He said he turned to his wife and said “Bump” what do the mean by …at which point they were airbourne.
23 July 2007 at 6:30 pm
I went down to Maine a few weeks ago by motorcycle to see some friends. it had been raining and I was planning on staying at their “camp”. The damn clay in the road was some slippery, dumped the bike and laid in the field for quite some time. Later that night, after getting into camp we sat on the porch and watched several deer and turkeys in the fields. It has got to be the finest kind of place.
8 October 2007 at 7:34 am
Well I was born and raised in Skowhegan, unfortunatly I have not had the opertunity to be back in Maine in over 5 years now as I have been in the Army. I still get it all..but for us from Skowhegan its not Deering ice cream its GIFFORDS.
17 October 2007 at 12:31 pm
I am from Maine and want to go back someday. I miss the falls and the snow is fun too. BRRRR! LOL! I remember the red (dyed) hot dogs and the Humpty Dumpty Clam Dip Chips. YUMMMM! I left Maine when I was 15. It has been over 20 years. I am in Oregon now, wish they sold that stuff out here too and LOWERED THE SEAFOOD COSTS…LOL! It is really high priced here. I remember when you went to a Seafood resteraunt and got the Seafood Platters and WHOLE Clams. Not here for under $25. There it was about $12.00 ALL YOU CAN EAT. Well nice reading all your entries. Tina. 36, Oregon.
19 October 2007 at 9:23 am
All I have to say is, Red Hot dogs at a Big Apple Food Store!
25 November 2007 at 11:12 pm
Man I really miss home..Been gone now for 4 years now…I am now stuck out here in Kansas my husband got station ed here when he joined the Army.. All I can say is I sure do miss Whoopie Pies and Slush Puppies.That always seem to be my thing when I was pregnant.. As for the humpty dumpty chips my favorite was BBQ always had to have a “REAL” Itlian to go with it… I always thought I would be glad to get out of that state but nope I miss it more and more everyday..
21 March 2008 at 5:29 pm
born and raised in Sanford Maine.. 20 minutes from new hampshire) for the southern mainers… Shains Ice Cream, Aroma Joes Coffee (the slogan: “its wicked good”
Wells Quarry… Ogunquit is the “homosexual capital” of maine. if you plan on going to the beach at anytime other than early august.. plan on FROSTBITE.
look out ANY window in your house, and there will be trees. lots of them.
FROST HEAVES.
starting a fire in your house with a space heater because youre just “so sick of buying heating oil”
LA KERMESSE.
27 April 2008 at 1:10 pm
Btw, there are two rotaries in Augusta, Cony Circle and Memorial Circle, and yes, I can drive them without slowing down.
But I know a few people who “stove up” their cars going through those things.
Uncle Henry is my favorite uncle by far! Especially that free for the taking section.
Never like Moxie though. It used to be sold as a medicine, they just added carbonation to it and sold it as a soda.